Gardner, KS Getaway: Unbelievable Super 8 Deals!
Okay, buckle up Buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into the slightly-less-than-pristine world of the Gardner, KS Getaway: Unbelievable Super 8 Deals! Look, let's be honest, "Unbelievable" is a strong word. But hey, even if it's not quite the Ritz, we're going to unpack this thing and see what's actually waiting for weary travelers like yourself. And trust me, I've got opinions.
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First off, let's just acknowledge that this isn't the kind of place you bring a diamond tiara and expect white-glove service. It's a Super 8, folks. We've all been there. It's about practicality, a place to crash, a base of operations… and hopefully, a deal.
Accessibility: Okay, this is actually important. The fact that it's listed is good. The listing claims facilities for disabled guests. That's a good starting point. Now, the devil's in the details. I'd personally CALL them, and ask specific questions. Is the ramp smooth? Are the hallways wide enough? Does the elevator work consistently? Because I've stayed in "accessible" places that clearly considered a few grab bars a job well done. Grade: C+ (pending further investigation)
On-site accessible restaurants / lounges: This is a big nuh-uh. The listing doesn't specifically say. So, no promises, probably a vending machine kind of set up. But hey, you can probably order delivery. Grade: D (presumed)
Wheelchair accessible: See above. Verify. Seriously. Grade: C- (until verified)
Internet Access: YES! Emphasis is HUGE! Free Wi-Fi in ALL rooms! Thank GOD. The listing says that, and, ahem, it's a must for me. Internet Access - Internet [LAN] - Internet Services - and more… well, you can't NOT have internet in a hotel anymore! However, and here's the but: I once stayed in a "free Wi-Fi" hotel that connected… eventually, and then died every time I tried to, you know, actually use it. So, free Wi-Fi = good. Reliable free Wi-Fi = essential. Ask about speed and reliability. Grade: B+ (hoping for the best)
Things to Do & Ways to Relax (or attempt to!)
Swimming Pool & Pool with a View: Alright, the listing says "swimming pool" AND "swimming pool [outdoor] *" This feels *promising*. Is this a tiny puddle surrounded by concrete, or a legitimate pool? A pool with a *view*? In Gardner, Kansas? I'm… intrigued, and skeptical. I'm picturing a view of… a highway maybe? Or a parking lot? But hey, a pool is a pool. Good for a hot day. Grade: C (depending on the pool's actual quality)
Fitness Center/Gym: Alright, this is where things typically get… interesting (read: slightly depressing). Super 8 fitness centers are usually a small room with a treadmill that's been through the wars, a weights machine from the 80s, and a TV showing a channel that hasn't updated since the Clinton years. I'm being cynical, but also realistic. My expectations are low. But hey, a quick workout is better than no workout. Just bring your own wipes. Grade: D (based on past experience)
Spa, Sauna, Steamroom, Massage, Bodywrap, Body Scrub, Foot Bath, etc.: Oh. No. Just no. Not at a Super 8. Unless they're hiding something, and I'm not sure if I want to find it. Grade: F (unlikely)
Cleanliness and Safety (The Really Important Stuff)
- Anti-viral cleaning products, Hot water linen and laundry washing, Hygiene certification, Individually-wrapped food options, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Room sanitization opt-out available, Rooms sanitized between stays, Safe dining setup, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Staff trained in safety protocols, Sterilizing equipment, Daily disinfection in common areas… (takes a deep breath) OKAY, this is a hell of a list. The listing emphasizes safety, especially in light of… you know. This is encouraging. It suggests they are trying to keep things clean. Again, ask. Because "trying" can be very different to "succeeding." Grade: B (hoping they're really doing it.)
- CCTV in common areas, CCTV outside property, Fire extinguisher, Smoke alarms, Smoke detectors, Safety/Security Feature, Security [24-hour]… I like this. Safety features are non-negotiable. These things give me a little peace of mind. Grade: A
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking (Fueling the Journey)
- Breakfast [Buffet], Asian breakfast, Western Breakfast: Now this is the moment of truth. The words "Breakfast [Buffet]" can fill me with existential dread or a flicker of hope. Based on experience, I'm bracing myself for cold scrambled eggs, limp bacon and suspiciously orange juice. But hey, free food is free food. If they offer Asian or Western options, that indicates perhaps, a step up in quality? Grade: C (low expectations)
- Restaurants, Coffee shop, Snack bar, Poolside Bar, Room service [24-hour], Happy Hour, Desserts, Salad, Soup:. LOL. No. Again, Super 8. Maybe a vending machine with some chips and a sad candy bar.
- Alternative meal arrangement, Bottle of water, Coffee/tea in restaurant: Maybe a slight hope. Grade: D (unless I'm pleasantly surprised)
Services and Conveniences (The Little Things That Matter)
- Air conditioning in public area: Yes, please. Definitely need that in Kansas.
- Elevator: Important if you're on a high floor and have mobility issues.
- Convenience store, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Dry cleaning: Good for travelers.
- Daily housekeeping: Essential
- Cash withdrawal: Okay (but ATM fees are the worst.)
- Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site], Car power charging station: The car park is the biggest win. Free parking is a huge plus. "Car Power Charging Station" is even better.
- Contactless check-in/out: Another win in the post-COVID era.
- Concierge, Doorman: Unlikely.
- Gift Shop: I always love a gift shop.
For the Kids?
- Family/child friendly, Babysitting service: Super 8 is usually pretty kid-friendly. Babysitting would be a surprise, but I really doubt that. Grade: B (for kid-friendliness)
Available in All Rooms (The Nitty Gritty)
- Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Coffee/tea maker, Free bottled water, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Non-smoking, Private bathroom, Refrigerator, Satellite/cable channels, Shower, Wi-Fi [free]… Standard amenities are expected.
- *Bathtub, Slippers, Bathrobes: Unlikely, but… I would be delighted to be wrong.
- Interconnecting rooms: Good for families.
- Mirror: Essential if you want to see how tired you look.
- Laptop workspace: Crucial if you are working.
- Wake-up service: Always appreciate it.
- Extra-long bed: A luxury.
Getting Around
- Airport transfer, Taxi service, Bicycle parking, Valet, Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site]: Free parking is a major selling point.
Here's the Unbelievable Super 8 Deal! (Because I'm trying to sell you this place)
Okay, so, here's the deal: Gardner, KS Getaway: Unbelievable Super 8 Deals! isn't going to win any awards for luxury. But it could be a solid, practical choice, especially if you're in Gardner for… something. Here's why you should consider it:
The Hook: **Free Parking, Free Wi-
Escape to Dupont: Hampton Inn & Suites Awaits!
Alright, buckle up, buttercups. We're hitting the road, or rather, hitting the beige-carpeted hallways of the SUPER 8 BY WYNDHAM GARDNER (KS). This isn’t some glossy travel brochure, nope. This is the raw, unfiltered, slightly-too-much-coffee version of my weekend escape.
Title: Gardner, Kansas: Where the Pavement Ends (and the Adventure Begins… Maybe)
Day 1: Arrival, Existential Dread, and the Joy of Cheap Pizza
- 1:00 PM: Arrive at the Super 8. Okay, let's be real, "arrive" is a generous term. More like, "limp into the parking lot after a harrowing five-hour drive fueled by stale gas station coffee and a desperate need to pee." The sign out front proudly boasts "Free Breakfast!" – a phrase that always fills me with a mixture of cheap joy and the unsettling feeling that the definition of "breakfast" is about to be stretched to its absolute limits. The lobby… well, it smells vaguely of chlorine and quiet desperation. I am not immediately won over, but hey, it’s got a nice vending machine.
- 1:15 PM: Check-in. The woman behind the counter is perfectly pleasant, but she's seen things. Dark things. Lives lived within the fluorescent glow of this particular Super 8. I get the key card, which promptly demagnetizes itself on the first try. Classic.
- 1:30 PM: Room inspection. The room is… a room. Beige, with a vaguely floral bedspread that screams, "I haven't been updated since the Bush administration (the first one)." Two double beds. I'm alone. So, that's… something. There's a faint smell of… something. But I can't quite place it. Possibly the lingering scent of a previous guest's regret? Whatever it is, It's not unpleasant.
- 2:00 PM: Decide to fight off the existential dread that's already creeping in. Head for the pool! (I saw a very small pool on the pictures on the site) It's… not the Olympic size I had in mind. Honestly, it's less "pool" and more "giant, slightly chlorinated tub." But, hey, it’s a pool. I float for a bit, contemplating the meaning of life and the questionable quality of the complimentary shampoo. I was not prepared for there to be a pool heater. I feel bad for those not in the pool.
- 3:00 PM: Hit up the local pizza joint. Okay, this is a serious highlight. This place looks like time forgot it, but the pizza? The pizza is a revelation. Greasy, cheesy, perfect. The kind of pizza that tastes like pure, unadulterated joy. I order two slices, and then, in a moment of pure, uninhibited passion, order a third. Don't judge me. It was a long drive.
- 4:00 PM: Wander around Gardner. Okay, so the highlight of the town is the pizza place, and I had thought the town would be lively, but boy was I wrong! I am currently trying to come up with some words for this. I went to a store in town, but it was closed. Nothing much here.
- 6:00 PM: Back in the room. Feeling full of pizza and self-loathing (in a good way). Watch some truly terrible cable TV. Discover a compelling documentary about competitive dog grooming, because, you know, life.
- 7:00 PM: My soul leaves my body and decides to go on a great journey.
- 8:00 PM: Prepare for an early morning. It is 8 PM, and I have nothing to do. What a sad life.
Day 2: Breakfast, Big Dreams and Departure… maybe
- 7:00 AM: The "free breakfast." Oh, boy. (I have a feeling it's going to be brutal). The "breakfast" is the stuff dreams are made of. Okay, realistically, it's a sad, sad array of pre-packaged muffins, sugary cereal, and what I can only assume is instant coffee of the darkest persuasion. I have two mini-muffins, and I'm out!
- 9:00 AM: Check- out! The front desk lady gives me the side-eye and has to see my face again. I leave the Super 8, not knowing if I can ever truly leave. I just drove by the Super 8 and it looks normal enough.
Final Thoughts:
Gardner, Kansas, is not necessarily the most… happening destination. But hey, the pizza was killer. And sometimes, a weekend of slightly-too-cheap hotels, questionable breakfasts, and cable TV is exactly what the soul needs. Plus, I survived! (and maybe I'll be back, someday!). The Super 8 by Wyndham Gardner? It’s… a place. A perfectly adequate place. And maybe, just maybe, that's enough.
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