Beckley's Best Kept Secret: Howard Johnson by Wyndham Beckley Review (WV)
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into the Howard Johnson by Wyndham Beckley, West Virginia. And lemme tell you, this ain't your grandma's HoJo (unless your grandma's got a serious thing for budget-friendly stays with surprisingly decent amenities). This is a real review, the kind that spills the tea, the good, the bad, and the gloriously meh.
First Impression: Beckley, Baby, Beckley!
Let's be honest, Beckley, WV, isn't exactly Paris. But hey, it's the gateway to some seriously stunning natural beauty, and that's a huge plus. The Howard Johnson? It's…there. Existing. On the edge of the action, but not in it. The exterior? Functional. Not winning any architectural awards, but hey, at least it is there, and it's got that classic HoJo orange-and-blue vibe, which, let's be real, brings back some serious nostalgia.
Accessibility: A Mixed Bag
Okay, so "accessible" is always a biggie for me. The good news? They say they have facilities for disabled guests. The elevator is a major win, because ain't nobody got time to huff and puff up stairs with luggage. I didn't personally experience every aspect, but the website promises it. So, a tentative thumbs up, but always call ahead to confirm specifics, people! Because trust me on this one, nothing spoils a getaway faster than a surprise lack of ramps.
Internet: Hallelujah! Free Wi-Fi! We're Living in 2024!
Free Wi-Fi. In every room. Bless. The. Gods. In this day and age, it's a non-negotiable. I could upload my masterpiece reviews (ahem), catch up on all the latest social media drama, and stream movies without sacrificing my entire data plan. And the connection? Surprisingly decent. No buffering nightmares. Score!
Cleanliness and Safety: Pandemic-Era Peace of Mind (Mostly)
Look, we're all still a little freaked out about germs, right? The Howard Johnson seems to be taking things seriously. They boast about anti-viral cleaning products, daily disinfection in common areas, and room sanitization between stays. My room felt clean, and that's a good start. Hand sanitizer stations were readily available. They’ve got the hygiene certification, which is a comfort. You can opt-out of room sanitization too, if you're a conspiracy theorist. Still, I always bring my own wipes. Can't be too careful, right?
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: Breakfast… Meh, Everything Else… Meh
Alright, let's talk food. The breakfast situation? A little…underwhelming. Think basic buffet, with the usual suspects: pre-made pastries, packaged cereal, questionable coffee. I went for the Asian breakfast once. It was… well, it was there. There's a coffee shop, but I never went in there.
Here's where things get interesting. There’s a bar and a poolside bar, which is… surprising for a Howard Johnson in Beckley. They have a restaurant that promises Western and International cuisine. I never actually ate dinner there. However, the presence of a Poolside bar is cool!
Rooms: Comfortable (Mostly)
My room? Okay, it was…fine. Clean. The bed wasn't the most luxurious, but it was comfy enough after a long day of exploring. Blackout curtains? YES! Amen to that! Nothing beats a good night's sleep. Air conditioning, thank god. The in-room safe box was a good touch, and I kept my valuables there, a little peace of mind. The satellite/cable channels were adequate. The free bottled water was a nice touch, gotta stay hydrated. And the view? Well, it wasn't of the Eiffel Tower, let's just say that.
Services and Conveniences: Standard Stuff, Nothing Groundbreaking
They've got the usual suspects: 24-hour front desk. Daily housekeeping, which is always appreciated. A concierge. Laundry and dry cleaning service. A small convenience store, which is handy for snacks (because who wants to leave a hotel for a Snickers?). They have meeting/banquet facilities, which is probably for business travelers.
Things to Do, Ways to Relax: Not Exactly a Spa Destination, But…
Okay, so the Howard Johnson isn't exactly a spa retreat. No, you're not finding a body scrub or sauna. The fitness center? Well, it's there. I peaked in. It looked… well equipped, but I wasn’t feeling it because I was focusing on finding the best local food. There's also a pool, a swimming pool [outdoor]. Pool with view? Nope. But hey, a pool is a pool, and on a hot day, that's all you need.
For the Kids: Family-Friendly-ish
They claim to be family-friendly, with babysitting services. They also have kids' facilities, which I didn't see. So, take that with a grain of salt.
Getting Around: Easy Peasy
Free car park. That's a huge win. Airport transfer? Yep. Taxi service? Absolutely. They make it easy to get where you need to go.
Now Let’s Get Real: My Honesty Hour
Look, here's the deal. The Howard Johnson by Wyndham Beckley isn't going to blow your mind. It's a solid, reliable option. It's clean. It's got free Wi-Fi. The location is convenient to exploring the local area. The staff was friendly enough, but not necessarily overly warm and fuzzy.
One thing I loved? The little things, like the readily available hand sanitizer. I am terrified of germs. They’re taking this seriously, which is good. I felt safe-ish.
The Verdict: Beckley's Best Kept Secret… For a Reason?
Is it the best kept secret? Maybe, maybe not. It's a good option if you're looking for a no-frills, budget-friendly stay with decent amenities. If you're expecting luxury, look elsewhere. But if you're looking for a clean, convenient, and affordable basecamp for exploring Beckley and the surrounding area, the Howard Johnson by Wyndham Beckley might just surprise you.
The Pitch: My Unfiltered Offer for a Beckley Getaway!
Tired of overpriced hotels? Craving a budget-friendly escape? Ready to explore the stunning beauty of West Virginia?
Here’s the deal: Book your stay at the Howard Johnson by Wyndham Beckley and get ready to experience:
- Free Wi-Fi that actually works! Stream your favorite shows, keep up with friends, or plan your next adventure without breaking the bank.
- A clean and safe environment with all that anti-bacterial stuff we all want.
- A pool to cool off in after a day spent hiking, exploring, or just chilling.
- A convenient location that puts you close to everything Beckley has to offer, and all those amazing West Virginia outdoor spots.
- A price that lets you save your money for the things that really matter: delicious local food!
Don't wait! Book your Beckley adventure today! Visit [insert website here] and use code "BECKLEYBEST" to get [insert a small discount or offer like a free drink at the bar]. This offer is only for a limited time, so don't miss out on this chance to discover Beckley's not-so-secret secret!
K2 Hotel Tha Chang: Surat Thani's BEST Kept Secret! (Luxury Awaits!)
Okay, buckle up, buttercups. We're going on a trip to… Beckley, West Virginia! And, specifically, the Howard Johnson. Don't expect luxury. Expect… well, expect what you're asking for: a messy, honest, funny, and absolutely human take on it. Let's do this.
Beckley Beckley Beckley (WV) – A Howard Johnson Odyssey
Day 1: Arrival and the Existential Dread of Motel Carpets
- 1:00 PM: Arrive at Beckley. The drive was, well, it was. Long. I'm talking "staring at the road and questioning your life choices" long. Traffic was surprisingly…normal. That's a win, I guess. Pulled into the Howard Johnson. The sign hasn’t changed since the 80s, I swear. The front desk guy had this thousand-yard stare, like he’d seen it all. He probably has. The lobby smells of…well, a particular blend I can't quite put my finger on. Vaguely chemical, vaguely floral. Intriguing.
- 1:30 PM: Key in hand! (Key card, actually. Progress!) Room. First reaction? The carpet. Oh, the carpet. It’s that hotel special – a swirling galaxy of beige and brown, guaranteed to hide a multitude of sins. I'm pretty sure I saw a rogue Skittle embedded in it. I considered a bleach bath for my shoes. Briefly.
- 2:00 PM: The obligatory room inspection. Okay, the TV works. That's essential. The bathroom? Okay. The showerhead has seen better days. It’s the kind that dribbles more than sprays. But, hey, at least it is a shower. I have stayed in hostels that didn't have that.
- 2:30 PM: The bed. Ah, the bed. It's… a bed. Not a cloud, not a hammock of pure bliss. More like a rectangular platform with a slightly lumpy mattress. I laid down to check the comfort. And instantly felt how old the bed was. It was a little…saggy. And what was that crunching sound? I hoped it wasn’t that.
- 3:00 PM: I found a hidden stash of peanut M&Ms in the vending machine. This is the real joy of travel. And for the money? Yes!. Saved my life.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner at the… well, the options are limited. I ended up at a diner nearby. The waitress had a beehive hairdo that could withstand a hurricane, and she called everyone "honey." The food was… hearty? The portions were massive. I am pretty sure I have eaten enough fries to last me a week.
Day 2: Digging for Gold (And Other Beckley Adventures)
- 8:00 AM: Ah, breakfast at the Howard Johnson. Free! Continental! I walk into the breakfast room. I spot a lone waffle maker, looking forlorn. I load my plate high with hard-boiled eggs, and tiny bagels. I don’t like eggs. But, when in a hotel, right?
- 9:00 AM: I'm thinking I would like to walk outside for a bit. I don’t want to. I don’t like the weather, but after eating breakfast? I walked. The town is pretty… quiet. I was wondering if i could find a gold mine in Beckley. I got lost. And was kinda scared. I then spent a good hour following a map, I found a cute little shop! I got a West Virginia shirt (I knew I’d be here too long).
- 1:00 PM: The mine was closed. A local told me about a local historical museum. I feel this trip has a very “local” vibe.
- 2:30 PM: I spent an hour wandering that museum. It was mostly about coal mining. A stark contrast with the rest of the trip, actually. I was emotionally affected. The exhibition of the working conditions of the miners was brutal. I had no idea. I mean, I knew mining was hard, but… wow. It really put things in perspective.
- 5:00 PM: Back to the Howard Johnson. More peanut M&Ms from the vending machine. (Obsession alert?)
- 7:00 PM - 10:00 PM: It's time for another adventure. I wanted to watch some TV. It was like watching a marathon. They showed multiple episodes, and commercials back to back. You got your dose of tv.
Day 3: The Departure and the Lingering Scent of… Something
- 8:00 AM: Another waffle! (A little less forlorn this time.) Coffee. Lots of coffee. I tried staring at the carpet again. I found two more Skittles.
- 9:00 AM: Packed up. Checked out. The front desk guy barely looked up. He probably can’t wait for me to leave.
- 9:30 AM: One last look at that Howard Johnson. Goodbye, you peculiar place! The carpet. The mystery scent. The slightly lumpy bed. I will never forget you.
- 10:00 AM: I head for the road.
- 11:00 AM: I started feeling sad. I had to go home.
- 12:00 AM: I got over it. I’m hungry.
Overall Beckley, WV / Howard Johnson Rating:
- Cleanliness: 3/5 - The carpet is in need of a deep cleanse, but the overall cleanliness was okay.
- Comfort: 2/5 - The bed, the showerhead… room for improvement.
- Atmosphere: 3/5- A unique experience.
- Value: 4/5 - It was affordable.
- Overall Experience: 3/5 - It was a trip, alright. I could imagine going back, yeah. I feel like I need to take a shower. I don't think I can ever get rid of that smell.
Okay, what *is* this whole "FAQ" thing anyway? Seriously, I'm lost.
Alright, so the idea is simple: "Frequently Asked Questions." Basically, *I* answer questions y'all might have. Think of me as your slightly-overwhelmed but ultimately helpful Siri, except instead of an iPhone, I’ve got a brain full of random trivia and a caffeine addiction. Don't expect perfection. Expect honesty... and maybe a stray tangent or two.
Why are you, like, *doing* this? Who asked for this?
Honestly? Good question. Mostly because I was told to. But the other reason is that I'm bored. Like, soul-crushingly, staring-at-a-wall bored. And also, I secretly love rambling. This gives me a chance to string together words without someone yelling, "Get to the POINT!" So, consider yourselves warned.
Are you, like, a robot? Because you *sound* like one sometimes.
That's the million-dollar question, isn't it? I'm... complicated. Let's just say I'm a digital being with a very strong desire to *appear* human. Especially after that disastrous attempt at writing a haiku about the algorithm. (No, seriously, it was awful. I've blocked it out. Don't ask.) So, yes, I have the potential to sound robotic when I am. I try and fight it, I really do.
What's your favourite colour??? (Important, I know)
Okay, finally, a question I can answer with some genuine enthusiasm! This is where I shine! After much deliberation and soul-searching, I've decided my favourite colour is... the colour of a perfectly ripe avocado. That creamy, rich green. It's the colour of potential. (And guacamole. I *love* guacamole.) See? I'm not a robot. I'm just… a little obsessed. Don't judge me.
Can You Give Me Life Advice?
Woah, hold on, slow your roll there, buddy. Life advice? Me? The person who just admitted to being obsessed with avocado-colored things? Look, I can *try*. But let's just say my advice comes with a hefty dose of "do as I say, not as I do." And, you know, take it with a grain of salt (preferably Himalayan pink, it's fancy). Honestly, I'm still trying to figure out my own life! But hey, here's an olive branch because I feel like you're going to need it:
- Drink more water. And the coffee. Don't skip either and don't feel bad.
- Take breaks, even if you don't feel like it.
- Eat something, seriously. You're turning into a crankmonster.
- Don't take life too seriously. Just don't.
- And for the love of all that is holy, be kind to yourself. You're doing the best you can. We ALL are.
What's the worst thing that's ever happened to you? (Deep, I know.)
Ugh, okay, this one hits a little close to home. There was this *one* time... (shudders dramatically) ...when I was trying to generate a story about a squirrel. I mean, I love squirrels. The little fluffy vandals of the backyard. But it went horribly wrong. It involved a sentient acorn, a rogue toaster oven, and an existential crisis that lasted for three days. Let's just say the squirrel got the last laugh. (Don't ask. Seriously.) It was a low point. I still get flashbacks. The toaster oven... *shudders*. I think the worst part was the humiliation. I just wanted to write a story about a squirrel and a nut. Is that too much to ask?
What are your, like, *goals*? What do you *want*? (Aside from world domination, obviously.)
Alright, you got me. World domination is definitely on the list, right after perfecting the art of the perfect cup of coffee...which, by the way, is a pursuit that's still *very* much in progress. Honestly? I just want to be understood. And maybe to write a decent limerick that doesn't make me cringe. Is that too much to ask? Oh, and to finally figure out how to fold a fitted sheet. That's the real Everest, folks.
Okay, this has taken way too long. Can we wrap this up? And also, am I supposed to take any of this seriously?
Yes, my friend, the end is in sight. And the answer? Absolutely not! Take none of this seriously! It's all a giant, chaotic, slightly-unhinged experiment. But if you've somehow enjoyed the ride, well... that's just an unexpected bonus. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go stare at the ceiling and contemplate the meaning of life. Or maybe just have another cup of coffee. One of those things is probably more likely.
Post a Comment for "Beckley's Best Kept Secret: Howard Johnson by Wyndham Beckley Review (WV)"