Bermuda's BEST Golf Getaway: Newstead Belmont Hills Awaits!
Bermuda's BEST Golf Getaway: Newstead Belmont Hills Awaits! - My Honest, Messy, & Totally Unfiltered Review (Plus, a Booking Hook!)
Okay, let's be real. Planning a golf getaway is like… well, like herding cats that also have to pack their own clubs. But Bermuda, people? Bermuda is different. And after my recent stay at Newstead Belmont Hills, I'm here to spill the tea (and maybe a little golf ball dimple, accidentally) on whether it truly lives up to the hype. Buckle up, because this is going to be… a ride.
First things first: Accessibility - and it's a HUGE win. I need to shout this from the rooftops (and hopefully, the perfectly manicured greens!). They actually get it. From the elevator access to many areas to the consideration given to travelers with mobility issues, Newstead shows serious commitment. Didn't get a chance to explore all the specifics, but it seemed genuinely accommodating. This is a giant step in making them accessible for everyone who wants to take this journey!
Right, so let's dive into the rabbit hole of this place, shall we?
The Vibe: Casual Luxury with a Touch of "Bermuda Time"
Think relaxed elegance. No stuffy, velvet-rope scenes here. The staff are genuinely friendly (and patient, bless their hearts!), and it’s got that Bermudian "slow it down, mon" thing going on. Not in a frustrating "everything takes forever" way, more like… "breathe, you're on vacation." Which, frankly, I desperately needed.
The Rooms (Cue Fanfare!)
My room (and all the rooms, it appears) were a serious win. I’m talking Air conditioning that actually works, which is a lifesaver in Bermuda's humidity. There was a desk for when I pretended to work (shh!), comfy bathrobes and slippers - a luxury I wholeheartedly indulged in – also, free Wi-Fi in all rooms!! Yay! And the blackout curtains? Thank the heavens! Slept like a baby (a baby who occasionally dreamt of hitting a hole-in-one). Bonus points for the complimentary bottled water and the coffee/tea maker because caffeine is life. I also appreciated the safe box and the extra long bed. But honestly, I was most thrilled with the window that opens! Fresh sea air is everything!
The Nitty-Gritty (aka, the Stuff That Matters):
Cleanliness and Safety: Okay, let's address the elephant in the room – or rather, the lingering pandemic fog. They’ve gone HAM on this. Anti-viral cleaning products, daily disinfection in common areas, and staff trained in safety protocol. I saw the professional-grade sanitizing services in action and the hand sanitizer was everywhere, always. I felt genuinely safe. They even offer room sanitization opt-out available, which is a nice touch. They are taking this very seriously.
Internet: Let's be real; we all need to stay connected, even on vacation. Free Wi-Fi was a godsend. No dropped calls, no frantic searches for a signal. Worked like a charm.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking (Oh, My!)
- Restaurants: The on-site restaurants are fantastic, a mix of casual and upscale. I highly recommend the bar – Happy Hour is a must! The Poolside bar is a nice touch for a refreshing beverage.
- Food: I was obsessed with the salad in restaurant. They also have a Vegetarian restaurant and International cuisine in restaurant.
- Room Service: 24-hour room service is an absolute game-changer. Especially after a long day on the course.
Services and Conveniences: The Concierge was super helpful, the daily housekeeping was seamless, and the elevators are a must. The cash withdrawal, currency exchange, and doorman made it easy to manage. The safe deposit boxes were an important feature.
For the Kids: While I didn’t have any kids with me, I did notice babysitting service, and the place is definitely family/child friendly.
Getting Around: The airport transfer was super easy. There's also a car park [free of charge].
The REALLY Good Stuff (aka, The Relax-and-Unwind Department):
This is where Newstead Belmont Hills really shines.
- Spa/Sauna: Let's just say I spent a significant amount of time in the spa. The massage? Divine. The sauna? Heavenly. The steamroom? Perfect for sweating out all the tension from that missed putt. They also have a Body scrub and Body wrap.
- Swimming pool: The Swimming pool [outdoor] is gorgeous, with a Pool with view – you know, the kind where you can actually see the ocean and pretend you’re effortlessly elegant? I did. Frequently.
- Fitness Center: Okay, I admit, I intended to use the Fitness center… but the spa was far more appealing. Still, props for having it.
- Ways to relax: So many ways to relax!
The Golf (Duh!) Listen, I'm no pro. I'm more of a "slice and pray" kind of golfer. But the nearby courses? Stunning. Impeccably maintained. And the views? Forget about it. Utterly breathtaking. The hotel's proximity to these courses is a huge selling point.
The Quirks and Imperfections (Because, let's be honest, nothing's perfect):
- The "Bermuda Time" thing. It’s charming… until you’re really craving that iced coffee. Just build in some extra time.
- Prices. Bermuda isn't exactly a budget destination. Plan accordingly. The room rates at Newstead Belmont Hills make sense!
- This is the perfect place to have a Couple's room, and they have a Proposal spot available.
The Verdict: YES. Book it. Now.
Newstead Belmont Hills is a winner. It’s a beautiful hotel with everything you need for an amazing Bermuda getaway. The staff is fantastic, the location is perfect, and the amenities are top-notch.
But here's the kicker – and why you should snag this NOW:
My Unbeatable Golf Escape Offer:
To sweeten the deal, they need to know about this offer for a limited time only!
When you book your stay at Newstead Belmont Hills using [INSERT YOUR AFFILIATE LINK or PROMOTIONAL CODE HERE] you get:
- Exclusive Discount: Secure a special package deal!
- Bonus Perks: Free round of golf at a premier Bermuda course
- Guaranteed Room Upgrade: Get upgraded to a suite with a breathtaking ocean view!
- Complimentary Cocktails Upon Arrival: Sip on Bermuda's signature Dark ‘n’ Stormy and relax upon arrival!
- Extra Time: Get some extra time at the spa with a discounted service!
Why This Isn't Just Hype:
Because I've been there. I've experienced the genuine warmth of the staff, the bliss of a spa day, and the utter joy of a perfectly poured cocktail on a sunny terrace. I've walked those pristine greens, breathed that unbelievably fresh island air, and I'm telling you: Newstead Belmont Hills delivers. This isn’t just a vacation; it's an escape. Now go make it happen!
Orlando's Knights Inn: Your Budget-Friendly Magic Kingdom Escape!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your grandma's pristine travel itinerary. This is my Bermuda brain dump, post-Newstead Belmont Hills adventure. Prepare for the glorious mess.
Bermuda Brain-Spew: Newstead & Beyond (Probably) - My Totally Unofficial Guide
Day 1: Arrival, Annoyance, and Astonishing Views (Sound Familiar?)
Morning (or whenever the heck the flight lands): Landed in Bermuda! Beautiful, yes. Smooth, like I envisioned in my head, um, mostly. Customs? A breeze. The taxi ride? Uh huh… let’s just say the driver, bless his heart, really loved his stories. Which meant my first hour was a crash course on Bermudian history, local gossip, and a detailed description of his golf handicap. Excellent welcome, though. I'm already exhausted, in a good way?
Afternoon: Check-In Shenanigans & "Luxury" (Emphasis on Quotes): Newstead Belmont Hills. Gorgeous. Seriously, drop-dead gorgeous. The view from my room? Unbelievable. The way the light hits the water…I could probably just stare at it for hours and be perfectly content. Until I realised my "luxury" room had a tiny balcony where you could barely swing a cat. Or, uh, yourself. Note to self: next time, book the suite. Or bring a smaller cat.
Late Afternoon/Evening: The Pool… and a Near-Disaster: Pool time! A welcome relief after the flight. The water's perfect. The sun? Beaming. The relaxation? Imminent. Until I nearly face-planted trying to get out of the infinity pool. Slippery tiles, people! My dignity? Briefly sacrificed. My cocktail? Successfully saved. Success! Dinner at the restaurant was lovely, but I think I ate too much cheese. I'm now convinced I spent the evening in an existential cheese coma.
Day 2: Golf, Glorious Golf, and a Minor Meltdown
Morning: The Promise of Par, the Certainty of Humiliation: Golf lesson at Belmont Hills Golf Club. Oh my, I hate myself and the golf course at the same time. The instructor, bless him, was patient and encouraging. Me? Less so. Let's just say my swing resembles a startled flamingo more than a graceful golfer. At one point, I think I hit a divot so hard, it briefly achieved orbit. I'm pretty sure a groundskeeper is still looking for his soul.
Afternoon: Recovering and Redefining "Relaxation": Back at the resort, I attempted to relax. Spa! Yes, please. The hot stone massage was a dream. I swear, I could feel the tension melting away. The only minor annoyance was the woman next to me who insisted on loudly describing her bunions' history. Some things you just can't escape.
Evening: Sunset, Seduction… and Seafood Overload: Dinner at the resort's restaurant again. This time, I took a look at the lobster. I mean, I ate it. Obviously. And a bottle of wine. And, by the end, I wasn't sure where my head was and I wasn't sure how I got to the room.
Day 3: Beaches, Boats, and Broken Dreams of Local Cuisine
Morning: Exploring the Coast - And Getting Lost: Took a taxi to Horseshoe Bay. Beautiful, but crowded… and I got a bit lost trying to find a less packed portion of the beach. Oops. Okay, so I'm not good with directions, and I have a terrible sense of direction. But I eventually found a quiet spot and spent the morning reading a book. The sand was the perfect temperature. This is what dreams are made of, man.
Afternoon: Boat Trip… and Sea Sickness Surprise: Went on a boat trip. Supposed to be romantic, windswept, etc. Reality? Turns out, the "gentle waves" aren't so gentle on my stomach. I survived. I managed to hold my lunch down, which felt like a major accomplishment and I ended up enjoying it. The water was the most beautiful shade of turquoise I’ve ever seen.
Evening: The Quest for Authentic Cuisine… That Failed: I was determined to try a "local" place, but the restaurant I chose was closed. Again. So… ended up back at the resort. The food was good, but my heart longed for a greasy fish sandwich, you know? I was clearly failing at being locally authentic.
Day 4: Island Hopping and Unplanned Adventures
Morning: Exploring the Island! I rented a scooter (risky move, I know, but hey, YOLO). I’m now convinced I’m the world’s worst scooter driver. I swear, I'm so uncoordinated, I could trip over a flat surface. But I made it, in one piece! So there is that.
Afternoon: St. George's - A Journey Back in Time: Visited St. George's. Adorable. Historical. And, thankfully, mostly pedestrian-friendly. Wandered around the cobblestone streets, admired the architecture, and resisted buying a ridiculously overpriced trinket.
Evening: The Last Supper… and More Cheese: Back at the resort for my last dinner. I think I did better this time. Maybe? Oh well, the view from the restaurant terrace was spectacular one final time. And the cheese… well, let's just not talk about the cheese. I'm going to need a detox when I get home.
Day 5: Departure and the inevitable post-vacation blues
Morning: Farewell, Bermuda: The taxi ride back to the airport was just as chatty and winding as the first. The driver told me all about his family, his boat, and his opinions on the American election. It was a nice, warm goodbye.
Afternoon/Evening: Home, and Thinking About Lobster: Landed back home. The reality of emails and laundry sets in. But the memories of Bermuda will linger. Mostly the sunshine, the turquoise water, and the questionable cheese choices. Now I’m left longing for a lobster sandwich. That I never managed to find. Oh well, I'm already planning my return!
Okay, so, FAQs. Why bother? Seriously, are we *really* that lost?
Ugh, don't even get me started. Honestly, I’m pretty sure the internet, in general, is just one giant "I'm as confused as you are" party. But hey, *someone* has to answer the questions, right? Otherwise, we'd be adrift in a sea of unasked questions, like a toddler in a giant department store. And that's just... painful for everyone involved. So, yeah, FAQs. They're like life rafts, I guess. Sometimes. Mostly I just do these to try and organize my own thoughts.
Wait, what *exactly* are we talking about here? What's the ACTUAL topic? I feel like I'm missing the memo.
Alright, alright, keep your trousers on. Okay, fine, let's talk about... well, let's just say we're covering a *lot*. It could be about anything. Honestly, I'm just winging this. It's a bit like life: a delicious, chaotic, and slightly terrifying mystery. You'll just have to keep reading, won't you? And hey, maybe *you* can tell *me* what the heck we're actually doing here.
Okay, okay, hypothetically speaking, let's say I'm incredibly confused. How do I... un-confuse myself?
Ah, the million-dollar question! Honestly, I've spent more time trying to un-confuse myself than I've spent *doing* anything useful in my life. My top tips?
- Step 1: Breathe. Seriously. Deep breaths. Like, pretend you're underwater and the diver's about to tell you the air is running out.
- Step 2: Accept the confusion. It's okay to be clueless! Embrace the glorious chaos! It's the human experience. You’re not alone. I’m right there with you. In fact, I’m probably more confused than you are at this point.
- Step 3: Ask questions! This is where the "FAQ" part hopefully comes into play. Find a different source of information, poke around the internet, bug a knowledgeable friend (or, let’s be honest, the poor sap who agreed to write these FAQs).
- Step 4: Go for a walk, stare at a tree, eat some chocolate. Or maybe all three. You're not getting anywhere when you are overwhelmed.
Look, I'm not perfect, okay? Sometimes the answers are messy, like the back of the toilet where my cat likes to hide. But, hey, at least you show up.
What's your biggest pet peeve? Like, the thing that makes you want to scream into the void?
Oh, man. Okay, this is a good one. Actually, there's a few. But if I had to pick one? It’s when people interrupt me mid-sentence. I just… I lose my train of thought, and then it's all downhill from there. I'm like a poorly-tuned car engine sputtering and stalling. Then, when you try to backtrack, you realize that you can't even remember what you were talking about in the first place. I start wondering if I really ever knew what I was doing to begin with. Probably not. It's the tiny things that get to you, isn't it?
Do you ever get imposter syndrome?
Dude. Imposter. Syndrome. It's my *constant* companion. It's like a tiny, judgmental gremlin perched on my shoulder, whispering, "You're faking it." Every. Single. Time. I'm writing one of these FAQs? "Yeah, you're just stringing words together hoping they make sense. Wait until someone *actually* knows something asks you a real question." It's exhausting.
I remember the time I tried to bake a cake... *shudders.* I'd found this recipe online, looked simple enough. I even bought a brand new whisk! The directions were super clear, so I followed them to the letter. But as soon as I added the flour, I thought "what am I doing? I can't bake a cake." And guess what? It was a disaster! A flat, inedible, vaguely gray, cement brick of a cake. The imposter gremlin cackled with glee. The problem? I forgot the baking soda. It's the little things, people, the little things that make you look like the biggest moron.
What's the weirdest thing you've ever eaten?
Ooooh, good question! I'm a pretty adventurous eater. But the weirdest thing? Okay, so one time on a trip, I tried *balut*. You know, that Filipino delicacy where you eat a developing duck embryo? Yeah. You know what? I'd had a good drink before, and I'd also just been told it tasted like chicken. It definitely did NOT taste like chicken. It was a texture journey, let's put it that way. Definitely not a repeat experience. I'm pretty sure I spent the next hour rethinking my life choices. And questioning the meaning of food.
What are the three most important things in life? (Go!)
Alright, alright, deep breaths. Okay, here we go:
- Coffee. Okay, that might just be for me. But seriously, has anyone ever actually *enjoyed* the morning before that first cup? I shudder at the thought of it.
- Connection. Whether it’s friends, family, or that cashier who always remembers your name, those little moments of connection make life worth it. That, and like, cats. I forgot about cats. Connection to cats, I suppose.
- A good book. Because sometimes you just need to escape reality, and there's nothing quite like getting lost in a good story. Even if that story is terrible, sometimes.
These are just my opinions, though. People have different priorities. Some people like to dance, some people like to knit, some people like to eat bugs... It is all good.
What's the meaning of life? (Don't tell me it's 42; I know.)
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