Escape to Paradise: Alexandria's Luxurious Beachfront Inn Awaits!
Escape to Paradise: Alexandria’s Luxurious Beachfront Inn Awaits! – My (Very) Honest Review
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because I’m about to spill the tea on Escape to Paradise, Alexandria’s supposedly luxurious beachfront inn. And let me tell you, after my stay? I’ve got opinions. Buckets of ‘em. This isn't your sanitized, five-star PR fluff piece. This is real life, with all its glorious, messy imperfections.
First Impressions (and the Arrival Saga)
Okay, picture this: me, dreaming of sun-drenched beaches, turquoise water… the classic getaway. And let's be real, the website photos of Escape to Paradise? Pretty darn tempting. So, I book. And then… the airport transfer. Let’s just say it wasn’t the smoothest. Delayed flight, a slightly stressed driver, and a journey that felt miles longer than it should have. But! Eventually, we arrived. And the view? Whoa. Seriously, the beachfront location is breathtaking. Ocean stretching as far as the eye can see, the inn itself is a pretty thing, all whitewashed walls and… well, let's get to it.
Accessibility: The Good, The "Meh," and the "Hmm…"
- Accessibility: The website promises facilities for disabled guests. That's great, if it makes sense.
- Elevator: Check! (Phew, for me).
- Ramps/Access: I didn't notice issues.
- The "Meh": Some areas could be… wider. Like, I saw some doorways that would be a bit of a squeeze for a wheelchair.
- The "Hmm…": The information could be clearer, I didn't see dedicated wheelchair spots in the dining areas.
The Rooms: Heaven, Maybe?
My room? Well, it's a mixed bag. Yeah, the air conditioning worked a treat. The blackout curtains were a godsend for those beach-induced naps. The free Wi-Fi in the room – essential, of course, but more on that later! The extra-long bed was genuinely amazing. I'm a restless sleeper, and I could starfish without knocking anything over. The bathroom was clean, and I loved the bathrobes! It was amazing. The coffee/tea maker was welcome, and the complimentary tea was nice.
BUT…
The soundproofing? Could be better. I swear, I heard the seagulls gossiping about my tan at four in the morning. And the mirror could be bigger. Okay, maybe I'm a touch vain, but come on, a girl needs a good view of herself after a spa day! I loved the window that opens, but the view was partially obstructed by some scaffolding.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: Food, Glorious Food (and the Occasional Hiccup)
Okay, let’s talk food. This is where things get… interesting.
- Restaurants: There's a few restaurants around the hotel, I tried the one by the pool.
- International cuisine: It was awesome with a wide variety.
- Asian Cuisine: The Asian Cuisine had a mix of flavors, but if you don't like something, you might need to try something else.
- Breakfast Buffet: Solid. Not earth-shatteringly amazing, but they had breakfast options like fruit, yoghurt, pastries, and of course, the essential bacon and eggs. I tried with the Vegetarian Restaurant and also.
- Poolside Bar: Amazing! Sipping cocktails by the pool, watching the waves? Pure bliss. The pool was clean.
- Room Service: Available 24/7. Perfect for those late-night cravings or when you just can’t face getting dressed.
The "Hiccups":
- The Coffee/Tea in the restaurant Sometimes had a bad taste to it.
- The Desserts in the restaurant Not every dessert was great.
- the Happy Hour was lacking at times.
Wellness & Relaxation: Spa Day Dreams and Fitness Center Realities
Okay, this is where Escape to Paradise truly shines.
- Spa: Yes, please! The spa is amazing. I loved the sauna, steamroom, and massage.
- Foot Bath: It was so calming.
- Fitness Center & Gym: They have a fitness center, but I only had a short time to use it.
Cleanliness & Safety: Feeling Secure?
During these times, safety is paramount.
- Anti-Viral Cleaning Products? Seems like they were using them.
- Hand Sanitizer: Available.
- Individually-Wrapped Food Options: Mostly, yes.
- Daily Disinfection in Common Areas: Yes.
- Staff Trained in Safety Protocol: Definitely.
Services & Conveniences: The Little Things That Matter
- Concierge: Super helpful guys, they made my stay so much better.
- Daily Housekeeping: Spotless.
- Luggage Storage: Good.
- Wi-Fi for Special Events: Amazing, really helped me keep up with work.
The Downsides:
- No Pets Allowed: As a pet owner, I was disappointed.
- Room sanitization opt-out available: Some people care about it.
- Some Rooms are not Non-Smoking: Not a huge issue for me, but worth noting.
For the Kids:
- Family/child friendly: There were kids, the hotel felt pretty kid-friendly.
- Babysitting service: Might be useful.
- Kids meal: Yes
And… The Internet (Oh, The Internet)
Okay, this needs its own section. Wi-Fi is free in all rooms, amazing! And mostly works! But here's the thing: the public Wi-Fi in the lobby was often… temperamental. I needed to do some work, check emails, and the first few days, it was a struggle. One day I was trying to upload a HUGE video file for my work, and it wouldn’t go through. I had to walk around until I found the best wifi, but I was fine. So, a little bit frustrating!
Getting Around
- Airport Transfer: I had some small issues, but I was fine.
- Car Park [free of charge]: Really helpful.
- Taxi service: Available, didn't use it.
The Verdict: Should You Escape to Paradise?
Okay, this is the million-dollar question, right? Despite the hiccups, YES. Absolutely, yes.
Here's why:
- The Location: Unbeatable. The beach, the views, the sunsets… chef’s kiss.
- The Spa: Pure bliss. Seriously, book a massage. You won’t regret it.
- The Staff: Generally, lovely and eager to please.
- The Vibe: Relaxed, chilled out. You can actually unwind.
Here’s My Plea:
I'm giving Escape to Paradise a solid 4 out of 5 stars. With a few tweaks, it could be a perfect 5. This Inn is the gateway to the perfect holiday.
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Alright, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your grandma's rigid, color-coded itinerary. We're going to Alexandria, baby! Specifically, the Paradise Inn Beach Resort. Consider this less a schedule and more… a chaotic, emotional, sand-and-sun-fueled journey into my brain while I'm there.
Pre-Trip Anxiety Bonanza:
Weeks Before Departure: Oh. My. God. Alexandria. Egypt. Remember when I thought this was a good idea? The passport is found, then lost, then found again, wedged between two copies of "Lonely Planet Egypt" (which I haven't even cracked open). The sheer amount of packing is giving me hives. I'm pretty sure I need to pack for both a desert safari and a formal gala at Buckingham Palace. My luggage is probably going to weigh more than me.
Days Before: Okay, deep breaths. Research phase. I did a cursory glance at reviews of the Paradise Inn. Turns out, it’s… well, opinions are mixed. Some love it ("Paradise on earth!"), others… not so much ("Dusty, dated, and the food gave me the runs"). I'm bracing for the worst. But hey, adventure, right? And hopefully, a decent Wi-Fi signal. Gotta post those Instagram stories, obviously.
Day 1: Alexandria Arrival & Initial Panic
Arrival at Borg El Arab Airport (HBE): Oh, lord. The airport smells faintly of airport. Actually, it smells like a slightly more exotic version of the airport back home. The immigration line? Longer than the line at the DMV. I swear, I haven't stood this long since the last Taylor Swift concert. Found my luggage fine, which is either a miracle or a sign that I have the right to be here.
Transfer to Paradise Inn: The taxi ride. Okay, the driver was an absolute character. He kept pointing at things and going, "See! Pyramids! Sphinx!" (Spoiler alert: We were not near the pyramids). His driving? Pure, unadulterated chaos. But the Alexandria skyline! That’s the real gem here!
Paradise Inn Check-In: The lobby. It's… grand, in a slightly faded, "been-through-some-things" kind of way. The front desk clerk, bless her heart, seemed utterly unfazed by my obvious jet lag/ panic. She handed me the key, pointed me in the general direction of a room, and I immediately got lost.
Room Revelations: Okay, room- a sea view! Yessss. The balcony! I was so ready to pop open a beer and watch the sunset… but the balcony door was stuck. After ten minutes of brute strength and a near-fatal panic (me, I almost had a heart attack. Maybe I was dramatic..), it opened. And the view? Stunning. The sea shimmered like a thousand diamonds. I took a picture, of course.
The Food, the Food: Dinner at the hotel restaurant. Expectations? Low. Reality? Edible. The bread was surprisingly good. The "Egyptian Salad" was basically a chopped tomato with dressing. Still, I ate it. I'm still alive! Minor victory.
The Aftermath: Hit the beach. The sand was soft, the sea was warm. Sat there, felt everything melt away. This is it. A moment of pure, unadulterated bliss! The stress… gone. For a minute, anyway. Then I realized I’d forgotten my sunscreen. Oops.
Day 2: Ancient History & Culinary Adventures of a Confused Tourist
Morning Awakening: Woke up way too early thanks to that infernal rooster everyone says you'll get used to. I can't, I won't, and I don't want to! Coffee was strong, the balcony was calling, and the sea sparkled.
Pompey's Pillar: Okay, the Pompey’s Pillar. It's, you know, a big pillar. Very pillar-y. It was impressive, I guess. A little pillar-sized. I spent a lot of time wondering how they even built it. The ancient Egyptians were clever, I'll give them that. Climbed up the stairs so I could take a picture, almost died from exhaustion.
The Catacombs of Kom El Shoqafa: The catacombs. Holy crap. Creepy. Dark. Underground. Talk about your hidden gems! They're beautiful and mysterious. I got slightly disoriented trying to find my way out. I probably shouldn't have gone alone. But I did.
Lunch Like a Local: After a recommendation from my taxi driver, I ventured away from the hotel. I found a tiny, bustling place tucked away in a side street. The aroma of spices and grilled meats almost knocked me over. I ordered something. I have no idea what it was. But it was delicious. This is what I wanted. Real Egypt.
Beach Time, Again: Back to the beach. This time, with sunscreen! This time, I felt like a queen. Lay there, got sunburnt anyway. Why do I do this to myself?
Dinner Drama: Tonight, the hotel restaurant again. The menu was slightly different, the same. The same waiter from yesterday, who remembered my bread fixation. Made a friend, I did. They have the most amazing mango juice in this place. If I don't come back to Egypt, I will at least come back for the juice.
Day 3: Alexander the Great Doesn't Answer My Prayers & Departure Blues
Library of Alexandria: I was absolutely stoked. Imagine the sheer knowledge there! I went. I saw. I got slightly overwhelmed. The library is stunning, but I expected more… books. Also, I failed to summon Alexander the Great. Disappointing really.
Citadel of Qaitbay: The Citadel of Qaitbay. This is where I felt like a real tourist. I mean, it's a fortress. And a beautiful one at that. History oozes from the stones. I spent like an hour just wandering. Felt like a real princess.
Shopping Spree (or Attempt Thereof): I tried to buy a souvenir. The vendors were pushy. I ended up with three scarves that I definitely didn't need and a weird, carved Camel. I regret nothing.
Sunset Farewell: Last night on the beach. The sun dipped, turning the water into liquid gold. The sky exploded with color. I didn't want to leave.
Departure: The taxi to HBE. The driver, a different guy than the last one, was equally chatty but apparently didn't drive. The airport was the same – chaotic, confusing, and strangely comforting.
Final Thoughts: Alexandria, Egypt… you’re a whirlwind. You’re dusty, you’re loud, you’re frustrating, you’re beautiful, and you’re utterly, utterly unforgettable. Would I go back? Absolutely. Next time, I'm bringing a phrase book, a stronger stomach, and maybe a bodyguard to keep the vendors at bay. But most importantly, I'm bringing an open mind and a willingness to embrace the chaos. Because that's what makes the journey worth it. And that juice, that damn mango juice… I'm still dreaming of it.
Escape to Paradise: (Alexandria's... You Know) Beachfront Inn - FAQs... Because, Seriously, You'll Need 'em.
Okay, so "Paradise." Really? Is it *actually* paradise, or just, you know, Instagram-filtered paradise?
Alright, let's be real. Look, I’ve seen some stuff. I've scrolled through the ‘gram, and I've seen the flawless sunsets… and the photoshopped abs. Alexandria’s… it *tries*. It really does. The view? Stunning. When the sun hits the water just right, it’s like liquid gold. Truly. I saw a couple, probably on their honeymoon, just *lost* in the moment on the beach. I almost cried from the sheer beauty and the… uh… the lack of sand in my own socks. Which, by the way, is surprisingly important. So, *almost* paradise. It's maybe... 85% paradise. That other 15%? Well…
What about the rooms? Are they, like, actually *luxurious*? I've seen the pictures...
The rooms… oh, the rooms. The pictures are, shall we say, *generous*. Let me put it this way: the website shows a pristine white duvet and a strategically placed orchid. My duvet? It *was* white. Probably. Hard to tell under… well, let's just say I think I spotted a rogue crumb from, what, a whole-wheat biscuit? The orchid? Nope. Replaced by a slightly sad-looking, wilting fern that clearly needed a serious pep talk. But! The bed itself? Comfy. Oh, my aching back loved that bed. Truly. And the balcony? Worth every penny. Especially with a cold drink and a good book (that you’ll inevitably drop in the sand, but hey, that’s life!).
Is the beach actually *accessible*? And, more importantly, is it crowded?
Accessible? Yes. Crowded? THAT'S the million-dollar question, isn't it? Let me paint you a picture: picture yourself waking up at 7 AM, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, ready to stake your claim on a prime beach spot. You grab your towel, your sunscreen, your hat… Then, BAM! You arrive to find every chair occupied by a person who clearly woke up even EARLIER AND probably slept there. It’s a beach battleground, folks. The early bird gets the… slightly less crowded sand. Best advice? Embrace the chaos. Bring your own fold-up stool, settle in, and try not to judge the people who leave their towels ALL DAY even though they're only there for an hour. Seriously. It's a *thing*.
The food? I've heard mixed things. Is it ridiculously overpriced resort food, or... ?
Right, the food. This is a biggie. "Mixed things" is an understatement. Okay, look, the breakfast buffet is... well, it *has* food. A lot of it. Your classic continental breakfast, I mean, you know, the usual bread, pastries, and the scrambled eggs that are clearly not, like, *real* eggs. More like the scrambled eggs that are, you know, in some kind of weird powdered form which I always felt a little suspicious about. Honestly? I had the best omelette I've ever had, probably because I was *starving* after all the beach chair drama. Lunch? Stick to the fish tacos. They’re… decent. Dinner? Prepare to pay a premium. And if you’re on a budget... maybe sneak some snacks in your suitcase. Just saying. I did. Don’t tell anyone.
What about the service? Are the staff helpful or just… put-upon?
Okay, the staff. This is where things get… complicated. Some people were *amazing*. So helpful, genuinely friendly. I'm talking, like, the kind of people who make you feel like you're the most important person in the world. Then there were others… bless their hearts. They seemed a bit… weary. Probably from dealing with the constant stream of demanding tourists (of which I, admittedly, may have been one, especially when my room key stopped working, which it, of course, did, twice. Twice!). But overall? They try. And honestly, sometimes that's all you can ask for. Tip generously, show some respect, and you’ll probably be treated like royalty. Or at least, treated with a smile. Most of the time.
Is there anything... truly *bad* about Alexandria's? Anything to avoid?
BAD? Hmmm… Let me think… Okay, there’s the music. They play the same, vaguely upbeat (but ultimately bland) background music on repeat at the pool. On *repeat*. It gets in your head. I swear, I was humming it in my sleep. Also, the Wi-Fi. Prepare for it to be spotty at best. If you NEED to be constantly connected, you might want to mentally prepare for some digital detox. And the… *sand fleas*. Yeah. They’re a thing. Bring bug spray. Lots and lots of bug spray. And maybe keep all your bits covered! And... oh yeah, the "gym". I wouldn't plan on, like, actually working out. It's more like a room with some dusty equipment. I didn't even bother to go in. I will not, I repeat, I will not plan on any workout during my stay.
Okay, deep breath. Would you go back? Seriously?
Would I? Okay, here's the thing. Despite the… the mild imperfections, the crowded beach, the occasionally sad-looking fern, and the rogue crumb from the biscuit… yes. I would. That view. That feeling of the sun on your skin. Waking up to the sound of the waves… Even the slightly-too-sweet piña coladas start to feel… right. There's something about it that gets under your skin. It's not perfect, no. But it's… real. And sometimes, isn’t that enough? Besides, I have some unfinished business with those fish tacos. So, yes, I would. And I'd probably complain the whole time, but I’d secretly love it. Don't tell anyone.
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