Chiang Mai's Hidden Gem: Tha Phae Gate's BEST Kept Secret Hotel!
Okay, buckle up, buttercups! Because I'm about to spill the beans on Chiang Mai's… well, they call it a "hidden gem." Let’s see if it's really a hidden gem, or just… hidden. We're talking about that Tha Phae Gate "BEST Kept Secret Hotel." And let me tell you, keeping secrets is hard work, especially when you’re me, and I’m about to expose everything!
First, the Basics (Gotta Get Through the Mundane, Right?)
Accessibility: Okay, this is crucial. And listen, I rely heavily on my own two, perfectly able-bodied legs. But I do know that wheelchair accessibility is a HUGE deal.
- Wheelchair Accessible (and other accessibility features): I'm cautiously optimistic after my inspection. There were elevators. They seemed wide enough… but, you know, I'm not in a wheelchair. So, I'm holding back a definitive "YES!" on this until confirmed. I'll dig deeper, because it's important.
- Facilities for Disabled Guests: (This, like the accessibility, is not my specialty, but I'll mention if I notice anything.
Internet Access: (Because, let's be real, in the modern age, a hotel without Wi-Fi is basically a prison cell with nice decor.)
- Free Wi-Fi in All Rooms! YES! Praise the internet gods!
- Internet: (I'm assuming "internet" means in-room connection… fine, whatever.)
- Internet [LAN]: Don't know, didn't try. I'm all about that Wi-Fi life.
- Internet Services: Uh… let's assume they've got the basics.
Cleanliness and Safety (The Pandemic Edition)
- Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Individually-wrapped food options, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Room sanitization opt-out available, Rooms sanitized between stays, Safe dining setup, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Staff trained in safety protocol, Sterilizing equipment: Okay, good. I need to feel like I'm not going to be consumed by microscopic monsters on vacation. They seemed to be taking things seriously. Masks were everywhere, hand sanitizer stations were strategically placed… I appreciate the effort.
- Hand sanitizer - everywhere! Seriously. I probably used enough hand sanitizer to fill a small swimming pool.
- Hot water linen and laundry washing: Yay, cleanliness!
- Doctor/nurse on call, First aid kit: Hope I don't need it, but it's nice to know they're there.
The Hotel's "Soul": The Ambiance, Amenities, and Maybe Some Shenanigans
Things to do, ways to relax:
- Pool with view: Okay, the pool is kind of gorgeous. Not gonna lie. It's got that Instagram-worthy vibe. But, I also saw some kids splashing around, which is, you know, life. So, maybe less "view," more "vibe."
- Spa, Spa/sauna, Sauna, Steamroom, Body scrub, Body wrap, Massage, Foot bath: YES to all of this! Okay, full honesty: I spent a solid chunk of time at the spa. The massage was… incredible. Like, I walked in a stressed-out mess, and walked out feeling like a freshly-baked croissant. (I should probably start a spa account, am I right?) The body scrub was… well, let's just say I’m now the smoothest version of myself.
- Gym/fitness, Fitness center: Nope. I'm on vacation. I'm here to eat, massage, and (hopefully) not break any bones.
- Swimming pool [outdoor]: Yep. See above. Pretty.
- Couple's room: Not sure if I saw any of these, but it's a common amenity.
Dining, drinking, and snacking: This is where things get interesting.
- Restaurants, Bar, Coffee shop, Poolside bar, Snack bar: Lots of options! That's a big plus.
- A la carte in restaurant, Asian cuisine in restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant, Western cuisine in restaurant: Variety is the spice of life, and this place seems to have it. I am not vegetarian, and I would love to try every type of cuisine!
- Breakfast [buffet], Breakfast service, Breakfast takeaway service, Buffet in restaurant, Asian breakfast, Western breakfast: THE BREAKFAST. Okay, I'm a breakfast person. Like, obsessed. And this place did NOT disappoint. They had everything! I wanted to try everything! The buffet? Glorious. The fresh fruit? Divine. The… okay, I might have eaten slightly too much.
- Coffee/tea in restaurant: Essential.
- Room service [24-hour]: Yep. Because sometimes you just want pancakes at 3 AM.
- Happy hour: A necessary evil.
- Desserts in restaurant: I ate a lot of these. No regrets!
Services and Conveniences (The "Stuff You Didn't Know You Needed")
- Air conditioning in public area, Elevator, Luggage storage, Daily housekeeping, Dry cleaning, Laundry service, Ironing service, Room service [24-hour… You know, the usual suspects. Nothing earth-shattering, but all useful.
- Cash withdrawal, Currency exchange: Always good to have on site.
- Concierge: Super helpful. They helped me with everything. They even remembered my bizarre requests.
- Doorman: Nice.
- Gift/souvenir shop: I may or may not have bought some trinkets.
- Business facilities, Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, Seminars, Audio-visual equipment for special events: Didn't use any of these. I'm guessing if you're here for work, you'll find what you need.
- Taxi service, Airport transfer, Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site], Car power charging station, Valet parking, Bicycle parking: Parking situation seemed fine. Didn't rent a car, but the options looked plentiful.
- Food delivery: (I wanted to try this but was too full from breakfast.)
- Convenience store: Never saw one.
- Contactless check-in/out: Yay for modern times!
- Invoice provided: I hope!
- Outdoor venue for special events, Indoor venue for special events: Didn't see anyone throwing a party while I was there.
- Facilities for disabled guests: I need to verify the specific facilities offered.
For the Kids
- Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal: While I personally don't have kids, it definitely felt family-friendly. I saw kids. They were happy. (I'm a simple man.)
The Room (Where the Magic Happens, or Doesn’t)
Okay, let's get real. The room is, you know, important.
- Available in all rooms: This list is HUGE. That probably means that any room will have the necessities.
- Additional toilet: Bonus points!
- Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathroom phone, Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Interconnecting room(s) available, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Safety/security feature, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens. Okay, now we're talking. Everything, and I mean everything. The bed was comfy, the shower was hot, and the blackout curtains saved me from my jet lag. The minibar was tempting. The Wi-Fi was reliable. Honestly, I'd be happy living in that room.
The Quirks and the "Realness"
Okay, so it's not perfect. Nothing ever is.
- Room decorations - The room decoration was nice, but felt a little generic.
- Exterior corridor - I think I did see an exterior corridor.
- Smoke alarms - I'm pretty sure I saw some. Safety is good.
- Soundproofing - Some areas were better than others. I heard a dog bark once.
Chiang Mai Mishap: A Human's Guide to Collection O & Beyond (Probably)
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because this ain't your Instagram-perfect travel guide. This is the raw, unfiltered truth about my Chiang Mai adventure, centered around Collection O Khu Mueang by Tha Phae Gate (formerly the Lai Thai Guesthouse, which I'll probably still call it, old habits and all that). Prepare for the beautiful, the ugly, and the downright hilarious.
Day 1: Arrival & a Whole Lotta "Umm… Where Am I?"
Morning (or What I Think Was Morning): Landed in Chiang Mai. Airport to the hotel was a breeze, thanks to that pre-booked Grab. The driver was super chatty – which is great, unless you're still battling jet lag and can barely string a coherent sentence together. He kept pointing out temples and saying "Beautiful!" I nodded and smiled, because what else could I do? Pretty sure I just agreed that the guy's car was beautiful. It probably was.
Mid-Morning: Arrived at the "Lai Thai Guesthouse". Actually, it's Collection O, but my brain is still stuck in the 90s. The lobby was…well, it was a lobby. Slightly underwhelming after the photos I’d seen, but let's be honest, I booked the budget option for a reason. Checked in – smooth as silk. The lady at the desk was ridiculously cheerful. Suspiciously cheerful. I hoped she wasn't a spy.
Afternoon: Tha Phae Gate & the Mango Sticky Rice Debacle: Okay, so I ventured out FINALLY. Tha Phae Gate was… grand. Lots of people, pigeons everywhere (those things are relentless!), and a general feeling of "Wow, I'm in Thailand!". Found a street food stall and, naturally, went directly for the mango sticky rice. Now, I'd heard stories, seen the photos, had dreams… and I was ready. This was my first authentic Thai experience. First bite, and… well, it was good. But not life-altering. Maybe it was the sticky rice texture, maybe by the time I had it I was too tired to appreciate it. Maybe I'm just not a mango sticky rice person. Don't tell anyone.
Evening: Lost in Translation & Spicy Regret: Decided to try a restaurant nearby. Ordered something that sounded vaguely delicious, based on the picture. What arrived was a spicy inferno of unknown ingredients. Sweat pouring down my forehead, tears welling in my eyes, I was basically breathing fire. The friendly waitress kept saying "Spicy, yes?" like it was some kind of accomplishment. I nodded weakly, desperately trying to eat as slowly as possible, while my mouth screamed for mercy. Ended up paying and running back to the hotel for water. Lesson learned: ALWAYS clarify the spice level. Always.
Day 2: Temples, Tuk-Tuks, and a Near-Death Experience (Exaggeration, Maybe)
Morning: Woke up feeling like a deflated balloon. The spicy food from last night was still haunting me. Decided temples were in order. Doi Suthep was incredible! The views were breathtaking, the temples were stunning, and the whole experience made me feel incredibly peaceful. …Until I started the inevitable climb up, I'm not in top shape anymore, so I did the slow and steady approach.
Afternoon: Tuk-Tuk Terror: Decided a tuk-tuk ride was the next item on the books. Found one near the hotel. Negotiated the price. Thought I was being clever. I was not. This guy drove like he was in a stunt movie. We dodged motorbikes by inches, slammed on the brakes at every possible opportunity, and swerved around a herd of stray dogs. I swear, I saw my life flash before my eyes. Halfway through I felt quite nauseated, and asked him to adjust the speed, which he did. For a brief moment. I felt like I was on a rollercoaster, and I didn't like it.
Late Afternoon: Street Art & Accidental Shopping: Thankfully, I survived! We're okay. Time to take a breather. I walked around, saw some awesome street art, took photos, and spent way too much time staring at a cat snoozing on a motorbike. Also, I may or may not have accidentally bought a pair of elephant pants. Who am I kidding? I absolutely did buy some elephant pants. Judge me if you want. They’re comfy.
Evening: Night Bazaar (and a Food Cart Fail): The Night Bazaar was chaotic (in a good way). So many people, so many lights, so many things to buy. Ended up wasting an evening, but I had some good laughs. Decided to grab some street food from a random cart. Another mistake. This time, the food had a strange, metallic taste. Tried to be polite, ate half of it and then I threw it out of a sudden urge to do so. I'm beginning to think I have a food-related curse.
Day 3: Collection O's Charm & the Elephant Encounter
Morning: Hotel Hangout & a Deep Dive: Spent some time at the hotel, which was cleaner than I initially thought. The pool looked inviting, but I could just never get in. The staff were helpful, and I found that the location was so great - right in the center of things without being too noisy. I had a long talk with one of the staff members, and got some recommendations for a cooking class.
Afternoon: The Elephant Sanctuary (Finally!): This was the main event. Found an ethical elephant sanctuary, where they rescue and care for elephants. It was absolutely amazing. Getting to see these magnificent creatures up close, feeding them, watching them bathe – it was a genuinely moving experience. It was a complete 180 from the tuk-tuk ride. Those gentle giants were everything. I felt so much love for those creatures!
Evening: Relaxation & Reflections (and maybe another mango…): Back at the hotel. Relaxed, wrote in my journal. Maybe, just maybe, I'll try the mango sticky rice again. Maybe I'll finally conquer the spice. Maybe, just maybe, I'll learn to love tuk-tuks. Or, you know, maybe not. That's the fun of it all, right? Unexpected is an understatement. Maybe some more of the mango sticky rice is in order.
The "Things I Need to Improve" List:
- Spice Tolerance: Seriously.
- Street Food Dexterity: I have to learn to judge street food stalls better.
- Tuk-Tuk Survival Skills: Apparently, there's a skill. I'm missing it.
- Embrace the Chaos: This trip is forcing me to do exactly that.
- Trust My Gut: If something smells…off, it probably is.
Conclusion: Chiang Mai - You're a Mess & I Love It!
Chiang Mai, you're a whirlwind of temples, tuk-tuks, amazing food (when I find it!), and chaotic joy. The Collection O (formerly Lai Thai) was a solid base camp. I'm leaving with a messy heart, a slightly bruised ego, and a newfound appreciation for elephants, elephant pants, and the surprising power of a good cup of tea. Would I come back? Absolutely. Would I change anything? Probably not. This trip, with all its imperfections, was perfect. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to find some more mango sticky rice. Wish me luck!
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- Don't Take Yourself Too Seriously: Laugh at your mistakes. Learn from them. Then move the heck on. Did I mention the hair?
- Be Kind to Yourself (and Others): The world is full of grumpy, judgmental people. Don't be one of them. Sometimes compassion is all you really need.
- Never Stop Learning: Curiosity is the best adventure there is. Explore, read, question everything. The world is full of wonders, don't miss them!
- Listen to Your Gut: Your intuition knows more than your brain sometimes. Trust it. I should ALWAYS trust mine...
What's Your Biggest Regret?
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What Gets You Annoyed?
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- Saying "no worries" when you've got to work some things out. Roaming Hotels
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