Escape to Ohio: Unbeatable Deals at Hawthorn Suites Cincinnati!
Okay, buckle up, because we're about to really dive into the Hawthorn Suites Cincinnati and see if it's the escape you need. Forget those glossy travel brochures – this is the real deal, a messy, honest, and hopefully hilarious rundown. Let's go!
Escape to Ohio: Unbeatable Deals at Hawthorn Suites Cincinnati! - A Deep Dive (with a Side of Sarcasm)
Alright, so you're thinking Cincinnati, huh? Me too. And Hawthorn Suites. Let's break it down, from the practical to the, well, the less practical. I’m looking for a home base for a weekend getaway, accessibility is important, and a little pampering never hurt anyone.
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Accessibility: The Real Deal (and the Slight Hiccups)
Look, accessibility is HUGE for me. I want a hotel that isn't just saying it's accessible but actually is. And Hawthorn Suites, for the most part, does pretty well. (It better, right? It's 2024!).
- Wheelchair Accessible: They have elevators (thank GOODNESS), and reviews generally mention accessible rooms. However, and this is a big one, always call ahead and confirm specific features like grab bars, roll-in showers, and the like. Don’t just trust the website. Trust your voice on the phone. My own experience is that hotel descriptions of "accessible" occasionally involve a bathtub you can't actually get into – very frustrating!
- Facilities for disabled guests: The reviews are generally positive, so fingers crossed they put their money where their mouth is.
(SEO Note: We got more keywords in there! We’re talking about accessibility here, so we're aiming for relevant search terms.)
Cleanliness and Safety: Gotta Feel Safe
Okay, let's be real. Nobody wants to think about germs when they're trying to relax at a hotel. But it's also important. Hawthorne Suites seems to be taking safety seriously, at least on paper.
- Anti-viral cleaning products: Makes you feel slightly better, right?
- Daily disinfection in common areas: Good to hear.
- Rooms sanitized between stays: Important.
- Hand sanitizer: Essential! Everywhere.
- Staff trained in safety protocol: Okay, this is a big one.
- Cashless payment service: Yay for less touching!
I'm always a bit skeptical until I see it, though. Cleanliness is a feeling, you know? A sense of being taken care of. So, I'm looking for those little touches – the absence of dust bunnies, the lack of suspicious stains (my pet peeve!), fresh linens, and a general sense of… well, cleanness. And now, I realize I forgot to consider that my dog's shed, meaning I'll have to call ahead, and now I'm a little stressed.
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Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: The Food Factor
This is where it gets interesting…or not.
- Breakfast [buffet]: The most important meal. Breakfast is everything. Reviews seem to suggest a decent buffet. Fingers crossed for decent coffee. *(I cannot stress this enough) I NEED COFFEE. (If the coffee is bad, I’m going to be an angry customer) And maybe some pastries, a little fruit. Let's be real. I'm aiming for *good* not gourmet for the weekend. I cannot and will not do "continental with a side of regret."
- Restaurants / Coffee Shop: The reviews don't mention anything special in the area.*
- Room service [24-hour]: This could be a lifesaver for late-night (or early morning) cravings, or post-spa exhaustion!
- Snack bar: Always a good thing.
- Alternative meal arrangement, Asian cuisine in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant: Well, that's a whole range of things, and this is Cincinnati, so, what are the options?!
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Things to Do, Ways to Relax: The Spa and the Pool View
Okay, here's where I get excited. Escape, pampering, all that goodness.
- Swimming pool/ Swimming pool [outdoor]: Essential for me - is it heated? Clean? Pretty? (I can dream.)
- Pool with view: Oh yes, please. A pool with a view is magical. A pool with a view of…what? A parking lot? A freeway? Don't destroy my dreams. I'll need a glass of water here.
- Fitness center, Gym/fitness: Gotta work off those breakfast pastries, right?
- Spa/sauna, Body scrub, Body wrap, Foot bath, Massage: This is where the magic happens. I need to know more, and quickly.
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Alright, I'm going to be truly, absurdly honest here. I want the spa. I work hard. I deal with a lot of crap. The idea of a massage, a body wrap, anything that's going to make me feel melted and human is a requirement. I'm not booking a hotel so much as a sanctuary. (Okay, maybe I'm overdoing it a bit…. but still). So, Hawthorn Suites: tell me about this spa. Is it good? Can I book ahead? Is it going to be worth it? Seriously: is it going to be worth it to get me away from my life.
Let me ruminate on this for a moment. My life is a disaster of cats, overwork, and a constant need for coffee. I need to escape. Can Hawthorn Suites deliver?
Services and Conveniences: The Nitty Gritty
What about the actual stuff? The practicalities?
- Air conditioning in public area and available in all rooms: YES!
- Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!: Another YES!
- Wi-Fi for special events: Excellent!
- Air conditioning: Yes.
- Daily housekeeping: Important.
- Elevator: ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL.
- Business facilities: Okay, I can work a little, I want to.
- Laundry service: A MUST.
- Luggage storage: Always welcome.
- Concierge: Helpful if you need help with anything.
- Free parking: Amazing!
- Car park [on-site]: Also good, as long as it's easy to get to.
- Coffee/tea maker: In-room? Again, crucial.
- Ironing facilities: Don't judge.
- Desk, laptop workspace: A place to work, maybe?
- Mini bar, refrigerator: If I need it.
- Smoke detector: SAFETY FIRST, people!
- Soundproofing: I want to sleep!
(SEO Note: "Cincinnati Hotel Amenities," "Free Parking Cincinnati," "Wi-Fi Hotels Cincinnati.")
For the Kids… and the Kid in Me!
I don't have kids, but I appreciate a hotel that welcomes families.
- Family/child friendly: Good!
- Babysitting service, Kids meal: Great.
Available in all rooms
Alright, onto the specific stuff in the rooms!
- Additional toilet: YES.
- Bathroom phone: Alright.
- Bathtub/Separate shower/bathtub: I need to decide what to do, which means time to plan!
- Complimentary tea, Coffee/tea maker: Perfect.
- Desk, laptop workspace: I want to be able to work, but really… no.
- Extra long bed: Okay, great.
- Hair dryer: Always appreciated.
- In-room safe box: Standard.
- Internet access – wireless, Internet access – LAN, Internet: Gotta have it.
- Linens: Obviously.
- Mini bar: Can pass.
- Non-smoking: Crucial for me.
- On-demand movies: Eh.
- Private bathroom: Yay!
- Refrigerator: Great.
- Satellite/cable channels: Standard.
- Seating area, Sofa: Good for relaxing!
- Smoke detector, Mirror: Fine.
- Soundproofing: Essential!
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because we're about to dive headfirst into the glorious, slightly chaotic, and utterly unpredictable world of… a stay at the Hawthorn Extended Stay in Sharonville, Ohio! Get ready, this ain't your perfectly curated Instagram travel guide. This is the REAL DEAL.
Day 1: Arrival, Mild Panic, and the Quest for Wi-Fi (Because Obviously)
- 1:00 PM - Arrival & Check-in: Okay, so the drive from… well, let's just say it involved a GPS malfunction somewhere near the Ohio River and a near-miss with a rogue tumbleweed (seriously, Ohio? Tumbleweeds?). But we made it! Found the Hawthorn Extended Stay. First impression? Kiiiind of beige. Like, beige on beige on beige. But hey, it's a roof over my head. Check-in was easy enough, the woman at the front desk was blessedly friendly. (Always a win after a stressful drive).
- 1:30 PM - The Room Reveal & Wi-Fi Woes: The room… well, it’s a room. Kitchenette included! Which means… I can maybe avoid eating solely at chain restaurants. Score! But then, the dreaded moment. Wi-Fi. The lifeblood of any modern traveler. And… it’s not working. Cue mild panic. I NEED to post a pic of this beige wonderland, people!
- 2:00 PM - Tech Support & the Lobby Coffee Odyssey: Spent a good chunk of time wrestling with the Wi-Fi. Tried all the usual tricks – restarting my phone, my laptop, chanting ancient internet incantations… finally, I had to call the front desk. The poor woman on the phone sounded like she'd heard it all before. Success! Wi-Fi is finally up and running. In celebration, I headed down to the lobby for some of that free coffee. Don't expect a barista magic here, it's the kind of coffee that you can tell has been brewing since the Reagan administration, but will do the job.
- 2:30 PM - Settling In, Snacking, and the Great Debate over Dinner: Okay, finally in the zone. Threw my bags on the… well, the beige, functional bed. Took stock of my snacks (essential travel supplies – pack accordingly!). Now, the BIG question: Dinner. I'm thinking… something not beige. Maybe… some Mexican?
Day 2: The Sharonville Experience (and My Personal Culinary Debacle)
- 9:00 AM - The Breakfast Struggle and the Gym's Unspoken Rules: Okay, free breakfast, hooray! Except… it’s that classic hotel breakfast. The usual suspects: waffles (which I accidentally set on fire in the toaster), tiny yogurts, lukewarm coffee. The best part? The quiet judgment of the other guests who are clearly breakfast-eating pros, I swear they all know the unwritten rules. The gym, by the way? Tiny. Like, "two treadmills and a lonely elliptical" tiny. I snuck in for a quick cardio session, because, well, the waffles.
- 10:00 AM - Sharonville Exploration: Alright, time to explore Sharonville! First, decided to drive around and get a sense of the place. Found a cute little park. The thing that stood out to me? Just how… normal it all was. Like, genuinely pleasant but not… overwhelming.
- 1:00 PM - The Culinary Calamity (and the Importance of Yelp Reviews): Remember that Mexican food I was craving? Well, I found a highly-rated place on Yelp. Sounds good, right? WRONG!. It was a disaster. Let's just say it involved a questionable margarita, a burrito that could double as a brick, and a stomach ache that lasted till tomorrow. Lesson learned: Always, ALWAYS read more than just the good reviews! I'll stick to the chain restaurants next time.
- 3:00 PM - The Pool (Don't Judge Me): Yep, got a little bored, so I went to the pool. It was a bit… neglected. But hey, it was warm! And, honestly, floating in a pool is a pretty good way to recover from a culinary disaster.
Day 3: Departure, Reflections, and a Fond Farewell to Beige
- 9:00 AM - Another Breakfast Blitz: Another go at the free breakfast. Attempted the waffles again… and this time, they weren't on fire! Victory!
- 10:00 AM - Catching Up on the World (and Laundry): A little work, a little laundry (the in-house laundry room was functional, at least, and I did my best for clothes' lifespan).
- 12:00 PM - Check-Out and Goodbye to Beige: Check-out was quick and painless. Said goodbye to the beige walls and the slightly iffy Wi-Fi.
- 12:30 PM - Post-Trip Reflections & the Honest Truth: So, the Hawthorn Extended Stay in Sharonville? It’s not the Ritz-Carlton, but it did the job. It was clean, the staff was friendly, and it provided a comfortable place to crash for a few days. Honestly, I appreciate its… well, it's unassuming nature. It wasn't trying to be anything it wasn't. It was a perfectly acceptable place to lay my weary head, and for that, I am grateful. Would I go back? Well, it depends. If I'm ever back in Sharonville and need a budget-friendly, functional base of operations… yeah, probably. But I'll be sure to pack extra snacks and maybe some Pepto-Bismol.
And that, my friends, is the unvarnished truth about a stay at the Hawthorn Extended Stay. Now, where to next…?
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Escape to Ohio? Hawthorn Suites Cincinnati - Okay, Let's Talk About It! (Because Seriously, Where Else Are You Going?)
So, "Unbeatable Deals"? Is that... *actually* true at the Hawthorn Suites Cincinnati? Don't wanna get hustled, ya know?
Alright, alright, let's address the elephant in the room: the price. "Unbeatable Deals," right? Look, I'm a cynic at heart. My initial reaction? "Yeah, sure, and I'm dating Brad Pitt." But... *whispering* ...sometimes, just *sometimes*, the deals are pretty darn good. I've seen some seriously competitive prices, especially if you're flexible with dates. The trick is, you gotta do your homework! Check multiple sites. Compare, compare, COMPARE! I've gotten some fantastic rates during the off-season. Think midweek, maybe avoid the big Cincinnati Bengals game weekends. Pro tip: Sign up for their email list. You might get some secret squirrel discounts. Look, I'm not promising a free stay, but it's worth a peep. I swear, one time I saw a deal that was CHEAPER than a Motel 6... and I'm pretty sure the Hawthorn Suites has (at least) a slightly less questionable continental breakfast.
What's the actual *vibe* like at the Hawthorn Suites? I'm picturing… what? "Hotel-y"? "Business-trip-y"? Tell me the truth.
Okay, deep breath. The vibe. It's… functional. Let's say that. It’s not gonna win any design awards (unless the award is “Most Efficient Use of Beige”), but it's generally pretty clean and well-maintained. Think of a slightly upscale extended-stay hotel. It's definitely not a swanky boutique hotel. I've seen families there, business travelers, and people like me, just escaping the daily grind. It's got a certain… anonymity, if that makes sense? You're not gonna feel like you're constantly being judged for your questionable fashion choices or the fact that you're wearing your pajamas to the lobby for coffee. Though, be warned, I *have* witnessed some truly impressive (or, perhaps, terrifying) hotel-lobby-pajamas over the years.
My Experience/Rant: One time, I was there during a cheerleading competition. And, OMG, the noise! Cheerleaders. Everywhere. Practicing in hallways. Doing backflips near the pool. It was an experience. Let's just say I learned a LOT about competitive cheerleading. Also, I vowed to never again book a hotel during *any* kind of competition. Learn from MY mistakes. (Pro-tip: Pack earplugs. Seriously.)
The rooms: are they actually *suites*? Like, can you actually spread out? Because I’m claustrophobic.
Yes! Okay, *mostly* yes. Yes, they are generally actual suites. They're typically got a separate living area with a pull-out sofa (which, let’s be honest, is probably more comfortable than the regular bed), and a bedroom. This is *crucial* for spreading out. I hate feeling like a sardine in a can, and the Hawthorn Suites usually delivers on the space front. You can actually breathe! You can have a little dance party in the living room (I mayyyy have done this). You can stash your luggage without tripping over it. It’s a win. However, the quality varies. Some suites are newer, with more updated furnishings. Read the reviews! Read ALL THE REVIEWS! See if people are raving (or ranting) about the state of their room before you commit. Don't be afraid to ask for a different room if yours isn't up to snuff.
My Story about a Terrible Room: One time. ONE TIME. I booked a suite that smelled suspiciously like wet dog and desperation. It was awful. The air conditioning wheezed like a dying walrus. The lamp flickered ominously. I’d rather sleep in my car (okay, well, maybe not, but you get the point). I called the front desk, and bless their hearts, they moved me. Always call the front desk. Seriously. They usually can fix the issue, and you'll feel so much better.
Breakfast: Is it the typical "meh" hotel breakfast? Or is there any hope?
Okay, the breakfast. The *breakfast*. Let's be realistic, people. Hotel breakfasts are rarely gourmet masterpieces. That said, the Hawthorn Suites breakfasts are… passable. They usually have the standard fare: waffles (always a plus!), cereal, fruit (sometimes). The quality varies, I've found. Some days, the scrambled eggs are actually edible. Other days, they resemble something found on a construction site. The coffee? Well, let's just say it's *coffee*. It gets the job done. My advice? Lower your expectations. If you're a breakfast snob, maybe pack some granola bars. Or, you know, hit up a local diner. (Which I often recommend.)
Breakfast Fail Story: One morning, I was really, REALLY hungry. Like, "hangry" levels of hungry. I piled my plate high with "sausage links." Took a bite. My face. It was... not sausage. It was something else. Mystery meat, perhaps? I don't know. But I've never been so disappointed by a breakfast. Moral of the story? *Always* scrutinize the breakfast bar *before* you load up your plate.
Location, location, location! How's the Hawthorn Suites Cincinnati's location? Is it actually convenient for… anything?
Okay, location is key! The location *really* depends on what you're doing in Cincinnati. It’s not right downtown, But it usually gives you relatively easy access to highways. Things like Kings Island (if you’re into that) or the Cincinnati Zoo could be a reasonable drive. Check Google Maps. Always, ALWAYS check Google Maps before booking. Figure out exactly what you want to do and see, and then see if the hotel's location actually makes sense. Some locations are better than others. Some are "close to the highway" (which can mean a lot of things, including traffic). Some are "close to restaurants" (read: chain restaurants). Do your research, people! Seriously.
Location Anecdote: I booked a place near the airport once, thinking it was perfect. Turns out, it was also near a 24/7 cargo warehouse, which meant non-stop truck traffic ALL NIGHT. I got maybe… three hours of sleep? That experience? It was the WORST. Lesson learned: Consider the surroundings. Is there a potential for noise? Are there a lot of restaurants or just a bunch of empty parking lots? Think about it!!
Amenities: Pool? Gym? Laundry? What does this place *actually* have? Or is it just a bed and a prayer?
Okay. Amenities. This is important. The typical Hawthorn Suites hasLocal Hotel Tips
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